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The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives],
But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles].
~Proverbs 14:1~ AMP
Women do not choose to be foolish or wise in the same way that we would choose between chocolate or vanilla, cotton or silk. A woman chooses to be foolish when she does not strive to be wise. Psalm 14:1 tells us that a man, (or in this case, a woman) that does not fear of God is foolish. A woman who fears God is enabled by the Holy Spirit to become wise, for God’s wisdom lives within her. It is a lamp to her feet and a light to her path. (Psalm 119:105) While we each have within our bosom, the propensity to behave foolishly, the woman herein described, is thoroughly and absolutely foolish. With time and opportunity, she becomes even more depraved, as evidenced by the final outcome of her house.
In addressing the subject of wise and foolish women, men are not exempt from like application. Likewise, neither is the single or unmarried woman. It is a foolish man and woman who do not fear God, who tear down their lives.
The foolish woman is like undetected wood destroying termites eating away at the foundation of her family and home until finally there is nothing left. Her destructive pursuits are akin to Herodias’ scheming mind, gradually and deliberately plotting evil, (Matthew 14:3-12) The foolish woman is a highly skilled demolitionist. She possesses tools hewn out of her own experiences. She defies and subverts her husband’s authority. When she is submissive, it is always attributable to her calculated advantage. Her husband’s desires are not her priority, neither are they ever her first thought. Now and then the foolish woman may exhibit some small kindness. However, this tactic is only used to further control him, as she hones her crafty skills to yet a more precise sharpness. Because the foolish woman is never truly satisfied, she will often seek private time for herself, to his exclusion. She demands that her husband should not begrudge her some small morsel of happiness.
At first glance, the foolish woman makes a too-good-to-be-true impression. After all, she did manage to somehow snag a husband. From there, she manipulates the minds of others. Or so she thinks. Her deceitfulness, like Delilah betraying Samson, impoverishes her victims. (Judges 16:4-21) The kindness and grace of first love have become competitive battling. Day-in-and-day-out. Her actions mock what once may have been gentle intimacies. She is seldom thankful or satisfied. She cares little for chaste and respectful behavior. (1 Peter 3:2) Her pride and arrogance keep everyone at a distance. And those who would attempt to bless her with truth are assaulted by her polished rhetoric.
The Wise Woman
The wise woman builds up her house, both spiritually and physically. The establishment of her home begins in her heart. Her wisdom is founded on her fear of God, unlike the foolish woman who despises God’s wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7) The wise woman’s house is her pivotal domain from which she functions as a helpmeet to her husband. She shapes the environment to best facilitate her God-given objectives. She strengthens her home by faith and integrity, adding to its beauty and function.
A good wife is a great blessing to her family. By a prudent wife, one that is pious, industrious, and considerate, the affairs of the family are made to prosper. Debts are paid, portions raised, provision made, the children well educated and maintained, and the family has comfort. Thus, the house is built. She looks upon it as her own to take care of, though she knows it is her husband’s to bear rule in. (Esther 1:22)
[bctt tweet=”The foolish woman is like undetected wood destroying termites eating away at the foundation of her family and home until finally there is nothing left.” ClaraJChauteco=””]
A virtuous and worthy wife — earnest and strong in character — is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes ashamed is as rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4) AMP
“For a man ought not to wear anything on his head [in church], for he is the image and [reflected] glory of God, [that is, his function of government reflects the majesty of the divine Rule]; but woman is [the expression of] man’s glory (majesty, pre-eminence). (1 Corinthians 11:7)
An Adorning Blessing
God made the woman from the man to be an adorning blessing. She is his representative and his glory. He is her head, and she is his crowning delight. The virtuous woman shows herself worthy of her husband’s trust. He has no need to search abroad for gain, (Proverbs 31:11), for his soul is at rest in the sanctuary of their home. He and the children are continually blessed by her faithfulness and submission. She is not strong-willed in her appetites and passions, though capable and deliberate in her God-ordained calling. She is teachable, not stubborn, or demanding to be coddled. Her husband is her authority, and she is his complement and support. She reverences God and seeks to glorify Him in all she says and does, (Proverbs 31:30), faithfully ministering to the needs of those whom God has entrusted to her care. (Proverbs 31:27) Diligent and industrious, she is a woman of good works. (Proverbs 31:12-20)
The Foolish Woman
The foolish woman causes shame. She disgraces her husband and her children, by always having the last word, always engaging in battles — both privately and publicly. Because she is persistent in the ongoing process of destruction, the family maintains a quiet and shameful secret. Everyone suffers. Things at home are not as well as the children would prefer, and possibly not as well as they publicly portray. Her children are confused and embarrassed. Because of this, they can hardly wait to leave home. The husband’s ongoing bone rot is painful and debilitating. (Matthew 10:36, & Micah 7:6) The thoroughness of the foolish wife is surely in direct proportion to the thoroughly affecting rot in the husband’s bones. The one person who should bring him happiness and joy is the one who instead, brings him to impoverished despair. As sure as any strain is put upon the family the cancerous malady worsens.
He that is plagued with a contentious wife is as miserable as if he were upon the dunghill; for she is no better than rottenness in his bones, an incurable disease; moreover, she makes him ashamed. She that is silly and slothful, wasteful and wanton, passionate and ill-tongued, ruins both the credit and comfort of her husband. If he goes abroad, his head is hung down, for his wife’s faults turn to his reproach. If he retires into himself, his heart is sunk and is continually uneasy.
Truly affecting, is the contrast of a contentious woman. She is imperious, extravagant, and perhaps even unfaithful. In the levity of her conduct forgetting her proper place and subjection, she seeks the admiration of others, instead of being satisfied with her husband’s regard. This is indeed a living disease – rottenness in his bones; marring his usefulness and undermining his happiness.
Proverbs 21:19 tells us that is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whoever restrains her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand (Proverbs 27:15-16 ) NKJ
The husband may take shelter from the continual dropping of rain but there is no shelter from a quarrelsome strife. Whether the woman lusts for power and control or repines under the obligation to submit, either principle breaks the rank in which God has placed her. Occasions always present themselves for the display of this unhappy temper. Unrestrained by Divine grace, she becomes her husband’s torment and her own shame.
The Contentious, Foolish Woman
The contentious, brawling and foolish woman is not necessarily a woman who is unfamiliar with Scripture. In fact, part of her skill may be wielding the Sword with accurate precision. Her dissatisfaction may be that she has married a man not as spiritual as she is. She may know of God as one knows a character in a book. However, her trust is in herself, and not in God. In her foolishness, she disregards God’s righteous justice and reckons her schemes and reinterpretations of Scripture to be acceptable. The word of God is a reproach to her. She has no delight in it. (Jeremiah 6:10) Her assaults against submission are ongoing and subtly reasoned to perfection. The first fruits of her love are self-contained and inordinately directed. They are aimed at neither God nor her husband. She would rather busy herself with strangers and projects than to be a good steward of her domestic duties. She is a self-idolater and lives only for herself. Because she does not live by herself everything around her is spoiled. She is highly opinionated and demanding. She punishes either with sullen silence or constant bickering. Her contentions can be neither restrained nor contained. “Whosoever restrains her restrains the wind And grasps oil with his right hand” (Proverbs 27:16) NKJ
The virtuous woman respects and supports her husband’s authority. She does not speak snidely of his opinions, insinuating her greater wisdom. She does not correct him or talk down to him. Because the wise woman tends to the care of her home and her household, she is said to build her house. By understanding her home is established and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. (Proverbs 24:3) What a delightful residence for the souls of those who dwell therein!
A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. (Proverbs 19:13)
Such a dropping utterly destroys a man’s household and comfort as it wears away at his heart. This trial is more wearisome because there is no lawful escape. The foolish son may be cast out. The contentious wife must be endured.
Surely our God teaches us a valuable lesson of this world’s vanity. He does this by fixing disappointment on the most substantial of comforts. Let all His children beware of building their rest on earthly portions. We must continuously be aware of becoming ensnared by our blessings, or else will our jealous heavenly Father embitter their sweetest sources of enjoyment, teaching us by painful discipline to look to enter into no other rest but His.