Marriage Help & Resources

Can Seperation Save A Marriage?

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Sometimes, married life may become extremely stressful and a couple may find it miserable to live together. When this happens, some couples wish to have a trial separation which may help to work through the differences between both partners. In some cases, separation is prohibited by cultural or religious rules and they prefer to live apart though legally remaining married. The question is that can separation save a marriage and does it really work?

There two ways of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts, ect.. A legal, formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense.

Generally, separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples prefer to first try to participate in marital counseling which may help the couple to work through the differences. Some couples seek out advice from their friends, family or religious leaders. Many couples are successful in resolving their marital problems after participating in couples retreats or marriage seminars.

Along with these options, or after trying these options, the couple may opt to choose a trial separation. Now, you may be wondering, can separation save a marriage?  Is separation even an appropriate way to save a marriage? The answer is, yes.  Though extremely painful, separation may be helpful in toxic marriage relationships, as it gives an opportunity to both the partners to heal old wounds as well as experience the feelings of being separated before making a final decision. The major advantage of trial separation is that it is reversible.

During the period of trial separation, you may go through marital counseling, think over it and then make the final decision. This separation period gives you ample time to think about your differences, your mistakes, and problems in your marriage and seek ways to resolve them.

An absence of daily bickering and conflicts may be an effective answer to the question can separation save a marriage. Due to a lack of proximity, there is absolutely no chance for conflicts. Both the partners get enough time to think over their marital problems. Most of the marital problems originate from fear, ego or stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long as one partner wishes to keep trying. 

The main purpose of trial separation is to develop the skills of resolving the problems before moving back together and working on improving the relationships. For a couple, a planned separation can be a good time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to calm down and cool off. It helps to make thoughtful decisions and thus work to save a marriage.

In some cases, separation may be unplanned and there may be no plans for marriage counseling, no tentative timeline for separation and no guidelines agreed about seeing others. Hence, before you think about separation, talk with each other about the individual goals of separation. Both partners should be ready for seeking individual and joint counseling during the separation period.

The answer to the question ‘can separation save a marriage?’ lies within the person himself/herself; you need to realize how important your spouse is in your life and how life may be without him/her.

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