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A virtuous and excellent wife [worthy of honor] is the crown of her husband,
But she who shames him [with her foolishness] is like rottenness in his bones.
~Proverbs 12:4~ AMP
The Bible tells us that a “virtuous and excellent wife is the crown of her husband.”
But what does that mean?
A virtuous and excellent wife is a woman with high moral standards:
She is chaste, righteous, good, and pure.
She is kind to others, generous, and loves to be hospitable.
She loves the Lord deeply and always strives to be obedient to His Word by walking in the Spirit.
Jesus is the center of her life and everyone who meets her knows it and can easily see it by the expressions on her face and the light in her eyes.
She is prudent with the money her husband makes by using it wisely and carefully. She works with willing hands and she does it cheerfully.
She is a gracious mother and her children rise up and call her blessed. Her children can even hear her singing often, making melody in her heart. This gives her family a feeling of comfort and security. She ensures that the children are well-behaved and are trained in all the ways of godliness. She teaches them about Him throughout the day.
A virtuous and excellent wife of noble character becomes the shining and glorious crown of her husband. She gives her husband increased status, honor, and regal power because of her virtuous nature. She increases his social rank by displaying her high moral qualities including courage, generosity, and honor. She obtains favor from the Lord for her husband.
- A Crown is defined as: (noun) a reward of victory or mark of honor; especially : the title representing the championship in a sport, : a royal or imperial headdress or cap of sovereignty :the highest part as in the topmost part of the skull :summit of a mountain :imperial or regal power :sovereignty :the government under a constitutional monarchy :something that imparts splendor, honor, or finish
- Noble Character is defined as: (adjective) Possessing hereditary rank in a political system or social class derived from a feudalistic stage of a country’s development. : Having or showing qualities of high moral character, such as courage, generosity, or honor: a noble spirit. : Proceeding from or indicative of such a character; showing magnanimity: “What poor an instrument/May do a noble deed!” (Shakespeare). : Grand and stately in appearance; majestic
A woman who brings shame to her husband makes his life to be miserable and is rottenness to his bones.
She nags, manipulates and quarrels with him.
She is contentious and argumentative. There is rarely any peace in the home.
She makes her husband’s life miserable. There is much division and disharmony. She has a long list of “Honey-do'” and nags him until they are accomplished.
She has no self-control in areas that concern him such as finances, housework, or cooking.
She spends her time on selfish pursuits and rarely thinks about her husband.
She gives no effort to trying to make his life better in any way but takes him for granted and even uses him for what she wants.
She wastes her time on the trivial things in life, such as what Hollywood stars are divorcing, or what they are wearing and doing.
Her husband is continually ashamed of her and regrets ever marrying her.
Are you a crown to your husband or rottenness to his bones?
If you are struggling to be your husband’s crown, you are not alone sweet sister. For many years, I did too. But there is still hope! And you can still become the crown that your husband deserves. Here are ten simple changes that you can begin incorporating into your life today that will have you well on your way to becoming his precious and glorious crown.
- Ask your husband, “What are your goals for the week and how can I help you to accomplish them? Is there anything I can do that would make it easier for you?”
- Be organized as much as possible with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. Try to anticipate his needs and your family’s needs so that you can be prepared or have what is needed ready.
- Save some of your energy for him every day. Take a nap if necessary so that you will be refreshed for your time with him. Greet him with a smile when he comes home. Save problems for later. (But, don’t forget them if they need to be discussed.)
- Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, home business, ladies’ Bible studies, social media, blogging, etc. Willingly rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
- Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all. If you have an issue that you don’t know how to deal with seeking advice from a godly woman who will give you good counsel, not from a woman who has a “that’s-just-like-a-man” attitude.
- Pray for him and make good suggestions about situations or projects. Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
- Be kind and gracious to his family and friends as much as lieth in you, Rom. 12:18. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
- Dress in a neat and modest manner that is pleasing to your husband. Take care of yourself as a point of being a blessing to him.
- When your husband sins, admonish him privately, always with humility, giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord. Prv. 25:9-10. Ask how you can help him overcome faults that seem to repeat themselves.
- Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, God is glorified when you obey your husband in all that is fit in the Lord.
By our actions, we as women can change not only how the world sees our men, but how our men view themselves. This is the most important aspect of becoming our husband’s crown.